The psycho-dynamics of behaviour
This happened on Saturday night. It's nothing revelationary but of interest to me so will record it in order to remember.
Went very briefly to a working class boozer for a drink, didn't feel like hanging around (feeling uninspired by the company I went along with) so went home. Incidentally, it was someone's birthday party in what seemed to be the lounge or a function room. It seemed to be a bit of a lacklustre party and not many people were there, or hadn't arrived yet. The pub's regulars seemed to be taking part in the celebrations which made the numbers seem less sparse than they would've been otherwise. The pub landlord was clearly a big personality who perhaps fancied himself as a bit of a smoothie. He was pleasant though, and not obnoxious with it.
As I came back out to the pub from the toilets, he approached me with arms outstretched in a "let's dance" gesture. It was clear that he didn't mean a proper dance, it would've been more of a quick, 'pretend' dance. I really didn't want to though - I'm not the world's greatest dancer even when it's a mock-up. But I didn't want to seem cold or haughty - it was very much a local's local. So, smiling, I said to him as he reached out to me (in what seemed to be a non-sexual way), "My hands are wet!". This didn't seem to be enough, so I added quickly, "And I can't dance, either". Without missing a beat he said, quick as a flash, "What do you mean, 'either'? What else can't you do?". Which I thought was a fast and clever riposte.
Thinking about it as I walked home, he may have done this in the role of jovial proprietor, to try to make me feel welcome/at ease in a small pub frequented by regulars. This didn't occur to me at the time. I didn't have time to consider it as his approach was out-of-the-blue and I'd been in another room so didn't foresee it. And my friendly response (it was a good-natured encounter) was borne out of the wish not to appear unfriendly or like an imposter.
Which is but a small example of how our interactions are all - always - underpinned by minute interpersonal tides and dynamics.
This happened on Saturday night. It's nothing revelationary but of interest to me so will record it in order to remember.
Went very briefly to a working class boozer for a drink, didn't feel like hanging around (feeling uninspired by the company I went along with) so went home. Incidentally, it was someone's birthday party in what seemed to be the lounge or a function room. It seemed to be a bit of a lacklustre party and not many people were there, or hadn't arrived yet. The pub's regulars seemed to be taking part in the celebrations which made the numbers seem less sparse than they would've been otherwise. The pub landlord was clearly a big personality who perhaps fancied himself as a bit of a smoothie. He was pleasant though, and not obnoxious with it.
As I came back out to the pub from the toilets, he approached me with arms outstretched in a "let's dance" gesture. It was clear that he didn't mean a proper dance, it would've been more of a quick, 'pretend' dance. I really didn't want to though - I'm not the world's greatest dancer even when it's a mock-up. But I didn't want to seem cold or haughty - it was very much a local's local. So, smiling, I said to him as he reached out to me (in what seemed to be a non-sexual way), "My hands are wet!". This didn't seem to be enough, so I added quickly, "And I can't dance, either". Without missing a beat he said, quick as a flash, "What do you mean, 'either'? What else can't you do?". Which I thought was a fast and clever riposte.
Thinking about it as I walked home, he may have done this in the role of jovial proprietor, to try to make me feel welcome/at ease in a small pub frequented by regulars. This didn't occur to me at the time. I didn't have time to consider it as his approach was out-of-the-blue and I'd been in another room so didn't foresee it. And my friendly response (it was a good-natured encounter) was borne out of the wish not to appear unfriendly or like an imposter.
Which is but a small example of how our interactions are all - always - underpinned by minute interpersonal tides and dynamics.
