Grist to the Mill

09 December, 2004


A friend recently bought me a book like this and I've been picking it up intermittently. I thought some of the funnier things were:

There have been times when I’ve thought about suicide, but with my luck it would probably turn out to be only a temporary solution.
If they could figure out a way to channel my anger, they could solve the energy crisis.
The only time my wife and I had a simultaneous orgasm was when the judge signed the divorce papers.
The best thing I can say about bagpipes is that they don’t smell.
Bagpipes sound exactly the same when you have finished learning them as when you start.
Just because I don’t care, that doesn’t mean I’m not listening.
My children refuse to eat anything that hasn’t danced in a commercial.
My mother used to say that there are no strangers – only friends you haven’t met yet. She’s now in a maximum security twilight home.
Apparently some Human Resource managers don’t appreciate having interview questions answered through interpretive dance.

Particularly the third one, which made me laugh for a week whenever I thought of it.

| | |